{"id":3751,"date":"2022-10-06T17:27:55","date_gmt":"2022-10-06T17:27:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/?p=3751"},"modified":"2022-10-06T17:27:55","modified_gmt":"2022-10-06T17:27:55","slug":"why-having-a-lot-of-self-control-makes-you-happier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/2022\/10\/06\/why-having-a-lot-of-self-control-makes-you-happier\/","title":{"rendered":"WHY HAVING A LOT OF SELF CONTROL MAKES YOU HAPPIER"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"immediate<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n
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\"immediate<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

(NOTE: This essay is about why having a lot of self control makes you happier. It is Part 2 in a series on breaking the trouble-making habit of immediate gratification. You can read the first essay by clicking here<\/a>.)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recently there\u2019s been a series of studies which link the ability to \u201cdelay gratification\u201d with enjoying higher levels of happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, many modern day clinical and social psychologists have even gone on record calling \u201c<\/strong>self-control\u201d the \u201cmaster virtue\u201d to strive for \u2013 above and beyond all other virtues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first glance, \u201cdelayed gratification,\u201d doesn\u2019t sound like a ton of fun.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

But when you think about it, the better you\u2019re able to delay gratification, the more likely you are to achieve academic success, monetary success, relationship success, and stronger physical health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s a quick peek at some happiness perks of self control \u2013 as reported in the famous \u201cMarshmallow Test.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Cliff Notes On The Marshmallow Test:<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Pre-school children were given a choice between enjoying one marshmallow now \u2013 or getting two marshmallows later.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The follow-up studies on the \u201c2-marshmallow kids\u201d are enlightening!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kids who were able to hold out for 2 marshmallows were renamed \u201chigh-delayers.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And these \u201chigh delayers\u201d were later shown to <\/em>score higher on their SAT\u2019s,<\/em> be more likely to complete their education, have better jobs, make more money, stay married, live healthier lives and have less addictions. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each minute that a 2-marshmallow high-delayer was able to delay gratification translated to a .2% reduction in Body Mass Index 30 years later. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

These 2-marshmallow high-delayers also displayed more social competence, greater self-assuredness and higher self-worth. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And these 2-marshmallow high-delayers were also rated by their parents as more mature, better able to cope with stress, more likely to plan ahead, more likely to use reason \u2013 and less likely to have conduct disorders, aggressiveness and hyperactivity.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self Control Studies vs. Aristotle\u2019s Philosophies<\/h2>\n\n\n
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Even though these various studies on \u201cdelayed gratification\u201d were done recently, my favorite philosopher Aristotle raved about the happiness perks of \u201cself control\u201d waaaaay back in the 300\u2019s BC!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As many of my readers know I have a Platonic crush on Aristotle. I write about his philosophies often (in my books,<\/a> video courses).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, I love Aristotle\u2019s philosophies so much, I even named my son \u201cAri\u201d as a \u201cwink\u201d to Aristotle\u2019s name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my favorite Aristotle beliefs: <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The reason why so many people are unhappy is that they confuse \u201cpleasure\u201d for \u201ctrue happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pleasure\u201d (aka: \u201chedonia<\/em><\/strong>\u201d)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Hedonia \/ pleasure is all about immediate gratification of the body and\/or ego.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s impulse-driven hedonism \u2013 hit and run joy \u2013 superficial and fleeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Basically, it\u2019s \u201cfake happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re caught up in \u201cpleasure,\u201d  you\u2019re \u201cbody-focused\u201d or \u201cego-focused\u201d or \u201csuperficially-externally-focused\u201d  \u2013 instead of \u201csoul-focused\u201d  (or \u201ctrue-core-self-focused\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTrue happiness\u201d (aka: eudaimonia <\/em><\/strong>)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Eudaimonia \/ true happiness is all about surrounding yourself with habits and people who stretch your soul \u2013 and thereby empower you to grow into your highest potential.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often \u201ctrue happiness\u201d requires \u201cdelayed gratification.\u201d  You have to put in the extra effort of discipline, patience and assorted strong character values \u2013 before that \u201cfeel good high\u201d kicks in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when it does, it\u2019s amped up higher than \u201cpleasure\u201d can ever take you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Plus \u201ctrue happiness\u201d creates \u201clong-haul joy\u201d \u2013 because \u201ctrue happiness\u201d is all about growing who you are inside of yourself \u2013 so it lasts as long as YOU last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Chocolate<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Stop emotional eating! Learn more about my video course<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTrue Happiness\u201d defined further\u2026<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Basically, Aristotle believed that \u201ctrue happiness\u201d is about recognizing that your soul is your ultimate g-spot for happiness \u2013 not your ego or body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to be happy, you gotta do actions your soul can be proud of!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aristotle also put forth another important life philosophy  \u2013 which also relates back to \u201cfake happiness\u201d versus \u201ctrue happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He believed that the best way to start any project \u2013 including the project called \u201cYour Life\u201d \u2013 is to begin with the ends in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aristotle called this \u201cfinal ends for life\u201d \u2013 \u201cyour end goal for living on this planet\u201d \u2013 the singular word: \u201cteleology.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShall we not, like archers who have a mark to aim at, be more likely to hit upon what is right?\u201d he asked.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aristotle\u2019s belief on \u201cteleology\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

He believed that your \u201cteleology\u201d (aka: \u201cyour final ends for life\u201d) is the same as my \u201cfinal ends for life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Indeed, everyone on this planet shares the same  \u201cfinal ends for life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This universally shared final ends: \u201cbecome your best possible self.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how do we become our best possible self?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We must consistently prioritize habits of good character and strive for excellence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sounds easier said than done, eh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aristotle agreed this was a tough goal to stick to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He repeatedly explained how this goal of \u201ctrue happiness\u201d required embracing strong character values \u2013 like courage, discipline, patience etc\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aristotle\u2019s recommendation to live a happy life?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You must regularly, mindfully focus on your \u201cfinal ends for life\u201d \u2013 and make choices based on whatever will help you to become your best possible self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He put forth that  you have 2 paths you can take in life  \u2013 and only 1 of these 2 paths will lead you to become your best self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Chocolate<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Stop emotional eating! Learn more about my video course<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aristotle\u2019s Philosophy on Life\u2019s 2 Paths:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Path#1 : <\/strong>The Impulse-Directed path<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This path is where you \u201csleep-walk\u201d through life \u2013 pursuing immediate gratification pleasure \u2013 \u201cfake happiness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Impulse-Directed Path double-duties as the Body-Directed path and\/or the Ego-Directed path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Path #2: <\/strong>The Growth Directed path<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This path is where you live an \u201cawake\u201d life \u2013 pursuing \u201ctrue happiness\u201d \u2013 even if it means putting up with a \u201ctime delay\u201d until you feel\/attain those longer-term 2-marshmallow-level greater rewards for your efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Growth-Directed path double-duties as the Soul-Directed path \u2013 and the True-Happiness-Directed Path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Plus, when you choose this second \u201cGrowth-Directed Path,\u201d you\u2019re better prepared to face life\u2019s challenges, failures and obstacles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why? <\/em>Because when you\u2019re Growth-Directed (and not Impulse-Directed) you embrace long-term benefits of challenges, failures and obstacles  \u2013 viewing them as opportunities to learn and grow into your best possible self!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The tempting Impulse-Directed path is not a short cut to happiness.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a bumpy, dead end road leading straight to fake happiness, depression, disappointment and failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Growth-Directed path might at first look loooong and mountainous to climb.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But this path gets easier and easier the more you climb it  \u2013 because you develop \u201cup-the-high-road-we-shall go muscles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Knowing Aristotle\u2019s love and respect for \u201cdelayed gratification,\u201d I\u2019m betting he wouldn\u2019t have been at all surprised to hear that those 2-marshmallow high-delayer kids wound up happier in the longterm than those 1-marshmallow impulse-directed kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After all, Aristotle defined \u201cthe good life\u201d as the \u201cadmirable life.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Aristotle believe a good and happy life is one in which you\u2019re doing admirable actions your soul can be proud of \u2013 so you can bloom into your best possible self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, it\u2019s not enough to know that delayed gratification rocks.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You must also have the ability to choose \u201cdelayed gratification\u201d \u2013 and choose it regularly \u2013 on a daily basis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(NOTE: This essay is about why having a lot of self control makes you happier. It is Part 2 in a series on breaking the trouble-making habit of immediate gratification. You can read the first essay by clicking here.) Recently there\u2019s been a series of studies which link the ability to \u201cdelay gratification\u201d with enjoying higher levels of<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t Read more<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[91],"tags":[735],"class_list":["post-3751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-addiction","tag-delayed-gratification"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3751"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3751\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3752,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3751\/revisions\/3752"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}