{"id":2961,"date":"2021-02-18T01:04:52","date_gmt":"2021-02-18T01:04:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/?p=2961"},"modified":"2021-02-18T01:04:52","modified_gmt":"2021-02-18T01:04:52","slug":"psychological-reactance-why-we-sabotage-our-own-goals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/18\/psychological-reactance-why-we-sabotage-our-own-goals\/","title":{"rendered":"Psychological Reactance: Why We Sabotage Our Own Goals"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Nir Eyal<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How one of the most underrated, underappreciated concepts in psychology is holding you back.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Image<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

When researchers make a joke in the title of an academic paper, you know what\u2019s inside is going to be good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the title I\u2019m referencing: \u201cA 50-year review of psychological reactance theory: Do not read this article.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How did you feel when you read the phrase \u201cDo not read this article\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you thought \u201cnow I\u2019m definitely<\/em> going to read the article,\u201d then you got the joke and experienced the phenomenon described in the paper: psychological reactance.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychological reactance is our knee-jerk negative reaction to being told what to do.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s why when you were a teenager and your mom told you to put on your jacket before going out, you\u2019d probably not<\/em> put on your jacket \u2014 just \u2019cause. Only later did you realize you should have taken your mom\u2019s advice as you hear your teeth chattering in the cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the reason you bristle when your manager asks you to do a task and you grumble to yourself about being micromanaged. Later you realize the task was critical to winning that big project and you promoting your career.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We hate the feeling of being bossed around, even when doing as we\u2019re told is good for us.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

According to researchers, almost everyone has this mental reflex against being told what to do. It kicks in whenever we feel that our freedom or autonomy is threatened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We often do things against our best interests because we want to protect our freedom to behave the way we want.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychological reactance isn\u2019t inherently bad. If people are too compliant, they\u2019re vulnerable to manipulation. But psychological reactance can, at times, prevent us from doing things that we should do, sometimes even things we want<\/em> to do \u2014 like be helpful to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recently, as I was clearing the dishes from the dinner table, I asked my daughter if she could wash the dishes. \u201cI was going to, dad!\u201d She said. \u201cBut now that you asked me to, I don\u2019t want to anymore.\u201d Ahh, reactance strikes again! I should have known better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychological reactance can sabotage you in bizarre, even ironic ways. For example,<\/strong> that knee-jerk impulse of \u201cdon\u2019t tell me what to do!\u201d can kick in even when it\u2019s you<\/em> telling yourself<\/em> what to do.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is particularly common when you\u2019re trying to make commitments and follow through on them by building a schedule<\/a>, a technique I recommend in my book, Indistractable<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may have scheduled time for something that you legitimately want to do \u2014 say, working out or reading a nonfiction book. But when it comes time to start exercising or sit down to read per your schedule<\/a>, you might feel a bit of reactance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though you yourself are the one who\u2019s telling you what to do, you may still react against being told what to do. Crazy, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This occurs because, at the moment, it doesn\u2019t feel like you telling yourself what to do. Rather, it\u2019s you from the past, when you made your schedule, telling yourself what to do right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychologists tell us this paradox is why we\u2019re often hypocrites<\/a> \u2014 saying we\u2019ll do something, but when the time comes, we don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Image<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But there\u2019s hope!<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Now that you understand psychological reactance, you have the power to recognize and disarm it. Instead of flaking on commitments because of a knee-jerk feeling, you can change your perspective on the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To disarm psychological reactance, you need to change the way you talk to yourself. Instead of thinking you \u201chave to\u201d do something, tell yourself you \u201cget to\u201d do it.<\/mark><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

By changing the dialogue, you empower yourself. Now you\u2019re in charge. You\u2019re not being told what to do; you\u2019re choosing to make time<\/a> for something that matters to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your freedom isn\u2019t being threatened; it\u2019s being exercised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disarming psychological reactance takes practice, but it\u2019s worth learning how to deal with this uncomfortable feeling<\/a> that all too often leads us off track.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try changing the way you deal with reactance and until then \u2014 whatever you do, don\u2019t<\/strong> share this article!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nir Eyal is a former Lecturer at Stanford and is the bestselling author of <\/em>Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products<\/em><\/a> and <\/em>Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life<\/em><\/a>. Indistractable won numerous honors and was named one of the Best Books of the Year by Amazon.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nir offers a <\/em>complimentary Indistractable workbook<\/em><\/a> on his blog, <\/em>NirAndFar.com<\/em><\/a>Nir Eyal<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Author of \u201cHooked\u201d and \u201cIndistractable.\u201d Want to overcome distraction? Get my free 80-page guide to becoming \u201cIndistractable\u201d at: NirAndFar.com<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

More from Nir Eyal<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Author of \u201cHooked\u201d and \u201cIndistractable.\u201d Want to overcome distraction? Get my free 80-page guide to becoming \u201cIndistractable\u201d at: NirAndFar.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nir Eyal How one of the most underrated, underappreciated concepts in psychology is holding you back. When researchers make a joke in the title of an academic paper, you know what\u2019s inside is going to be good. Here\u2019s the title I\u2019m referencing: \u201cA 50-year review of psychological reactance theory: Do not read this article.\u201d How<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t Read more<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[206,73],"tags":[385,387,389,86,388,386],"class_list":["post-2961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brain-function","category-mental-health","tag-goals","tag-life-lessons","tag-motivation","tag-psychology","tag-reactamce","tag-sabotage"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2961","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2961"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2962,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2961\/revisions\/2962"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fitadelphia.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}